Getting married today !!

Last day of work

What??!?! Finally ! The day has come. It's  my last day of work! I think that it's so Strange how sore my body is because I honestly haven't worked out or done anything too physical that would make it sore. But now here I am rubbing icey-hot all over myself. 

My parents come in tomorrow. 

My best friend comes in tomorrow.

Today and tonight are my last times with Danny to get all our crap together. Are we going to be able to do it???

Meh.... Not looking good. I won't be off until 5 but I'm still going to try my hardest. Then we can try to relax for maybe like a minute ? Second ? Maybe ?

I guess we will find out 

Stressed

07/26

Last night I had someone ask me are you nervous, excited, stressed?! What are you feeling??

I said yes. 

But today has mostly been stressed. I finally cried. It has been a minute since I've cried at anything other than commercials. 

Danny and I have always been good about being on each others team. We've always been strong about being a fan of one another but not lately. 

Lately were stressed, defensive, mad and always trying to plan the whole damn thing. I've been very fortunate to have a mother in law that has planned majority of it but there's only so much one person can do. 

Anyways, Danny made a comment about how we just aren't going to be able to get along or be on the same team until Saturday when we get married.

I lost it. I can't tell you how much that tore me up inside. 

We've talked more and I think it was good for me to cry. We're starting another game soon and I want to just be in sync with him. That's all. Because at the end of the day it's us. 

On the same team. 

Now I'm dying my hair. 

Friday

I just took time to write about everything that's been in between the days. 

It didn't save. 

It didn't post. 

So 

That sounds about right...

Crazy. Beyond. Crazy. 

Now Danny and I get to fight about things like tables. And my mother broke her hand and so there's all kinds of dilemmas there. 

Here we go. 

Last painting show as a single lady 

Ugh. Courthouse. Courthouse ! 

Painting not done by dog ;)

Life is sweet

It's my first show tonight at Pinots and I'm so nervous!! I spent the afternoon practicing and stressing about how to do certain frostings on the cupcakes as well as blending particular colors. I know deep down that it will probably be okay and the show will turn out well but I also know it's been about two weeks since I've been in there, trained and now I'm just going into the fire. Ugh ! I'm so nervous. 

I can do this. I can do this. 

I was made for this. 

Where did that day go ?

Yesterday was my bachelorette party and oh was it perfect. We decided to go more untraditional and not have a big, drunk penis accessory party. Instead, we chose to float down the river in a canoe ! My friends did such a great job on decorating, taking care of me and everything in between. I could not have asked for a better day trip than to a lake with close friends. 

Originally, I wanted to celebrate with just a few friends and go to a beach or something but with the wedding budget and life-there was no room for yet another trip. Also after we made the wedding list there certainly was a lot of people that we were unable to invite. So with that being said, I told my friend Kate to just invite everyone so no more feelings were hurt in my life. 

Boy did that backfire.

Only a one person other than my close friends showed up. But I did however have ample amounts of messages relaying why they could not go out/make it or whatever the case. 

I've always tried to protect myself from people and getting too close because I will get hurt but that also never allows me to have an actual relationship with people. And the people I do know, the relationships I have made are to stay. And live long with. And if every day were like yesterday, it would be a great great great life of friendship. I love them so much

Vows

Thursday I finished writing our vows.

Thank you for being the anchor in my life. You keep me grounded, you will never let me sink and I promise to do just the same. 

I take you to be my best friend, my faithful partner and my one true love. 

I promise to encourage you, inspire you and love you truly through the good times and the bad. 

I will forever be there to laugh with you, to lift you up when you are down and love you unconditionally through all our crazy adventures in life together. 

I will keep you anchored in my heart and soul for as long as we both shall live.  

And I also bought these pretty flowers so our place would feel more like home. 

Recovery

Today was our recovery day. We tried our hardest to clean up the house, get all the dirty fingerprints out of our rooms and living room. I cannot describe the feeling of just complete intrusion...but I know now how much it exists. We could not sleep at all last night and still can't shake the knowledge of how unsafe our world is. I tried to put up paintings where there were TVs, clean up all our belongings, clothes and personal items that were destroyed or vandalized. I think it was a step closer, a step in the right direction. And I am so moved by how the people near us, people close to us love us. I could not feel more blessed and grateful to be surrounded and supported by the most important people in our lives. Family. Friends. 

Robbed.

I've been trying to make time to write but I just haven't because I've been so busy. But sometimes busy isn't always good. Sometimes busy can distract you. Sometimes it can make you forget what is really important.

Today I was at my second shift of one of my new jobs and I got a call from Danny saying that our house has been broken into and robbed. 

Now what...does that mean? I asked. Because I thought maybe he could mean some kind of expression. But unfortunately he did not. 

Our house was robbed and (whoever)  took all of our electronics, tablets, TVs, game systems, old phones, phone chargers, all my jewelry and our honeymoon fund that was in a jar. 

When something like that hits you...it seems like life...just isn't as you thought it was. Even if you have a bad perception of life...it's not like you just assume you'll get robbed that day. I'm still unsure of what they all took, what I feel, what it all means but I do know one thing: Our sweet puppy Sully is shook up but alive and out of all the jewelry they stole...they did not take my wedding band or Danny's. And I know that was not done by coincidence, and we are so blessed to be watched over. 🙏🏼 So we can still get married and we can still move on from this. 

The only thing that matters to me: these two. 

Subway

Filling up gas on our way to a cabin with our friends for the Fourth of July. 

"They have a subway-- yes!" Danny exclaims. 

We get out of the vehicle and he runs to the firework setup.

"Okay...would you like me to get you something to eat then?"

"YEAH! GET ME A SANDWICH !" He screams at me while jogging away. 

Okay...thanks. 

I mean I know that subway has improved their selections of things to eat but I'm fairly certain that sandwiches are still on the menu.

Anyways... A fairly uneventful day filled with packing for our trip to the mountains for the weekend. 

We still love each other but more importantly--my mom said we need to like each other. I love that she shared that information to me because it's very true. We need to make sure that we always love each other. Always. But it's hit or miss on the days we might like each other.

And today, we still like each other.

Day 2 accomplished. 

T minus 30 days 

One Month to go

One month my world will change. 

One month exactly. 

Now...when you say one month it really could mean a number of things. One month to do 50 sit-ups? That's all? That's not bad. I could do that. One month to teach the kids about a circle ? Piece of cake. One month to loose 30 pounds? Meh...that's a challenge. I can't even cut out queso for a week. But whether I like it or not- in a simple 31days my life changes completely. I will officially be married and I will have a completely different lifestyle.

The first pitch is...a strike. Ugh. 

Right off the bat we started strong this morning. Strike out...Daniel. Daniel, my fiancé, did not get approved of his very last minute passport application. We thought it would be in the mail when we got home today but instead we got a curve ball saying his passport cannot be approved because he only had an extract version of his birth certificate.  So if you know how the passport timeline works and you're really good at math you now know we do not have time to get him one. So we can't go out of the U.S for a honeymoon. Initially, it was not that big of a deal because there are thousands of places to visit here that are extremely beautiful and I don't really have a high "champagne taste." You can put a Dos Equis Amber in front of me with some water and I am a happy camper. I doooo however care that we now have to pay double for things that are not inclusive. And that of course was after the fact that had to remind him that buying our passports and getting them expedited was a waste of money. So yeah..that would be strike on my part as well. I did fail at bat when it came to being a supportive teammate today but I thankfully have a patient, kind man and he did a great job at already finding some valuable options. 

A Single. No- a double!

I did however interview for two different jobs today and was very grateful to receive an open invitation to both the jobs!

I will be going from a mediocre preschool teacher to a full time art instructor, bartender and soon to be wife. So when I say I've got new shit coming at me this week---I'm for real. And I think that it could end up being a little humorous on my part (maybe not at first) so I'm going to try and blog/document the whole thing. 

Day one. Survived. 

T-minus 31 days left 

Stretch

I should probably start running again
My legs work 
My shoes fit

But I don't want to run
Who am I kidding...
It's never been about the running

It's about flying
I know I can get there
I just don't know how

That's always my excuse 
You could feel the apposing wind 
You could live the freedom
You could be open again

I can do it
I can do this
If I can just start running again