Recovery

Today was our recovery day. We tried our hardest to clean up the house, get all the dirty fingerprints out of our rooms and living room. I cannot describe the feeling of just complete intrusion...but I know now how much it exists. We could not sleep at all last night and still can't shake the knowledge of how unsafe our world is. I tried to put up paintings where there were TVs, clean up all our belongings, clothes and personal items that were destroyed or vandalized. I think it was a step closer, a step in the right direction. And I am so moved by how the people near us, people close to us love us. I could not feel more blessed and grateful to be surrounded and supported by the most important people in our lives. Family. Friends. 

Robbed.

I've been trying to make time to write but I just haven't because I've been so busy. But sometimes busy isn't always good. Sometimes busy can distract you. Sometimes it can make you forget what is really important.

Today I was at my second shift of one of my new jobs and I got a call from Danny saying that our house has been broken into and robbed. 

Now what...does that mean? I asked. Because I thought maybe he could mean some kind of expression. But unfortunately he did not. 

Our house was robbed and (whoever)  took all of our electronics, tablets, TVs, game systems, old phones, phone chargers, all my jewelry and our honeymoon fund that was in a jar. 

When something like that hits you...it seems like life...just isn't as you thought it was. Even if you have a bad perception of life...it's not like you just assume you'll get robbed that day. I'm still unsure of what they all took, what I feel, what it all means but I do know one thing: Our sweet puppy Sully is shook up but alive and out of all the jewelry they stole...they did not take my wedding band or Danny's. And I know that was not done by coincidence, and we are so blessed to be watched over. 🙏🏼 So we can still get married and we can still move on from this. 

The only thing that matters to me: these two. 

Subway

Filling up gas on our way to a cabin with our friends for the Fourth of July. 

"They have a subway-- yes!" Danny exclaims. 

We get out of the vehicle and he runs to the firework setup.

"Okay...would you like me to get you something to eat then?"

"YEAH! GET ME A SANDWICH !" He screams at me while jogging away. 

Okay...thanks. 

I mean I know that subway has improved their selections of things to eat but I'm fairly certain that sandwiches are still on the menu.

Anyways... A fairly uneventful day filled with packing for our trip to the mountains for the weekend. 

We still love each other but more importantly--my mom said we need to like each other. I love that she shared that information to me because it's very true. We need to make sure that we always love each other. Always. But it's hit or miss on the days we might like each other.

And today, we still like each other.

Day 2 accomplished. 

T minus 30 days 

One Month to go

One month my world will change. 

One month exactly. 

Now...when you say one month it really could mean a number of things. One month to do 50 sit-ups? That's all? That's not bad. I could do that. One month to teach the kids about a circle ? Piece of cake. One month to loose 30 pounds? Meh...that's a challenge. I can't even cut out queso for a week. But whether I like it or not- in a simple 31days my life changes completely. I will officially be married and I will have a completely different lifestyle.

The first pitch is...a strike. Ugh. 

Right off the bat we started strong this morning. Strike out...Daniel. Daniel, my fiancé, did not get approved of his very last minute passport application. We thought it would be in the mail when we got home today but instead we got a curve ball saying his passport cannot be approved because he only had an extract version of his birth certificate.  So if you know how the passport timeline works and you're really good at math you now know we do not have time to get him one. So we can't go out of the U.S for a honeymoon. Initially, it was not that big of a deal because there are thousands of places to visit here that are extremely beautiful and I don't really have a high "champagne taste." You can put a Dos Equis Amber in front of me with some water and I am a happy camper. I doooo however care that we now have to pay double for things that are not inclusive. And that of course was after the fact that had to remind him that buying our passports and getting them expedited was a waste of money. So yeah..that would be strike on my part as well. I did fail at bat when it came to being a supportive teammate today but I thankfully have a patient, kind man and he did a great job at already finding some valuable options. 

A Single. No- a double!

I did however interview for two different jobs today and was very grateful to receive an open invitation to both the jobs!

I will be going from a mediocre preschool teacher to a full time art instructor, bartender and soon to be wife. So when I say I've got new shit coming at me this week---I'm for real. And I think that it could end up being a little humorous on my part (maybe not at first) so I'm going to try and blog/document the whole thing. 

Day one. Survived. 

T-minus 31 days left 

Stretch

I should probably start running again
My legs work 
My shoes fit

But I don't want to run
Who am I kidding...
It's never been about the running

It's about flying
I know I can get there
I just don't know how

That's always my excuse 
You could feel the apposing wind 
You could live the freedom
You could be open again

I can do it
I can do this
If I can just start running again

Struggled love

You.

You are all that I have dreamed

All that I have painted upon my journey

You are what has turned my heart inside out

To dive in and never come up for air

To feel beauty inside

To be striped away of everything yet still risk the madness of it all

Because you're the one thing worth life 

I swear I can see you

I was made for you

Now open my eyes

Forgetful Me

Sometimes I forget.

How you and I were

How we are now

How much we've grown

How far we've come

How funny it was

How beautiful it's turned into

How you answered your phone

How the distance hurt

How empty it felt

How quiet we were

How loud we are now

How sweet I was

How awkward you were

How sweet you turned out to be

How awkward I've become

How we share everything

How we lose nothing

But I'll never forget...

How much I love you

A little more than yesterday

A little less than tomorrow.